remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
