i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
