I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
