im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
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Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
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You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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