I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
