My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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