We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
