Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
