can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
