Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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