when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
