Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
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she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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