So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
