I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
