I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
