I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
