Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
