Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
