I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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