we're blogging at a bar
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
