too bad you live with your parents still
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
