Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
