Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
