can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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