the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
