I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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