idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
