I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
