And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
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