You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We are two peas in an std pod
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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