i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We are all done wearing pants today
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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