Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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