Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
