Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
