And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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