This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You pole danced in your parka.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
