It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
