So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
