the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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