I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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