I'm drive I can fine osifer
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
