Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
