Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
