i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
