I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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