There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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