IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
