On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
