You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize