I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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