ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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