So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
