we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
