I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
