thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
