when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
this hospital has no fireball
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
