I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
