i jhust puked up my retainher.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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