You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my being single is dangerous.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
