Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
