Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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