i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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